Many families are now finding themselves in the position of being educators and/or monitors for their children with regard to schoolwork and the extended time frame of needing to shelter in grace. That can be a challenge, especially with the media overload on the topic of Corona Virus. Below are a few suggestions I hope will help guide you in this new journey.
Lean into your Spiritual Practice! The first step in any metaphysical toolbox is Prayer. Affirmative prayer has the power to center us in truth with a capital "T". Connecting with one's Divinity and remembering that It, is never EVER separate from you. Not in any situation. None, Zip, Nada! Let that sink into your thoughts and feel its Divine light saturate every cell in your body. If you need a little help getting started, check out the Affirmative Prayer Library on our web site. www.cslsr.org
Your children hear more than you think they do. Even if you are taking precautions with news, social media exposure etc. children (especially younger children) are empathic beings. If your anxiety level is raised, they will pick up on it. Even when they appear to be actively engaged in play, reading or schoolwork, while you are catching up on the latest news and/or talking with friends voicing your opinion on the status of things, they are listening. As often as possible check in with yourself to monitor your anxiety level. Take some deep cleansing breaths, a moment of meditation or reach out for prayer as needed.
Listen to their fears and concerns. Pay attention to body language. Children have physical tells when they are distressed, even if they do not use their words. Body language, temper, excited behavior are all indicators that something might be going on. If your child is acting different, or acting out, you may want to offer an opening for them to share with you what's up. Statements such as "I can see in your face and body that you have feelings going on. I would love to talk with you about them so we can work through it together" creates a space of welcoming for them. Most children are more than happy to share. And, even if they don't wish to talk then and there, your soft approach let's them know you see and hear them. It gives them an open door to share when they are ready.
Take an age appropriate approach and speak from Facts! While the CDC guidelines are the same for everyone, the developmental stages of children vary by age. Speaking with your 3-5 year old is going to look different than speaking with your 5-8 year old, 9-12 year old and different again for your teens. You may find that your child has heard a rumor or "fake news" that has them upset.
While the news seems to focus on the growing number of new cases or worse, what they aren't sharing are the numbers of people who have recovered or are experiencing mild cases.
This web site https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus is what I tend to follow as it offers a global perspective and includes, recovered and mild case information. Personally, it helps me to know that the majority of people will and are recovering.
Teach proper Hygiene and be a great role model. Who knew hand washing was something we needed to relearn? This is a great time to model what healthy personal hygiene habits look like. Just as children listen to what you say, they are watching what you do. Keep up the great work and have some fun at the same time. If you, like me, are over singing the Happy Birthday song when washing your hands, come up with new songs to replace it. Maybe something from their favorite movie or create new lyrics to the Twinkle Twinkle little star tune. Make if fun and keep washing your hands!
Get creative with connection and checking in. If you know me, you know I love creating crafty things. It's one of the things I miss the most about not being with the children of our Center. Well that and the hugs, but I digress. This is a great time to create tools for connection and sharing together. Below are a few ideas that came into my head. You may have others. Great! The important thing is to do it together so that everyone's ideas are heard and a part of a shared family project that everyone uses.
Thumbs UP: Hand gestures can be a simple way of checking in - Thumbs up indicate all is well. Thumbs sideways indicate a feeling of so-so or meh. And Thumbs down - not so well.
Emotional Charts: Here is where you can have some fun. Come up with the words you want to use on your chart - Happy - Sad - Tired - Excited - Motivated - Sleepy - Cranky etc. The more words the better. Then create a picture, or maybe a color that represents the emotion. You could use emojis or pictures from magazines, weather patterns, or you could draw your own facial expressions. There are plenty of ideas on the Internet to help get you started. Use this chart to have check in's through out the day.
Create a personal Chill-Ville: My friend Brooke Minkel, RScP from CSL Northern Colorado came up with this one. It's a personal place or space where your child can go to chill-out. It could look like a sheet tent in a corner of a room with pillows and a blanket inside or a quiet designated space in your home. Put things inside that bring comfort and calm. Some suggestions are a stuffed animal, books, coloring items, relaxation tools and prompts, headphones to listen to music. The options are as varied as your imagination.
Inspirational sidewalk chalk art: I am seeing more and more posts of children and families creating beautiful sidewalk chalk art with inspirational messages for all of us who are getting out of the house for daily walks.
Zoom - Marco Polo - and more: Chances are you've already figured this one out, or your child has! There are a variety of tools available today to help us connect with each other visually. Zoom offers a free account that allows for 40 minute calls. It is very easy to use and they have a bunch of tutorials if needed. Marco Polo is a free downloadable app where you create and share video messages with friends and family over your phone. If you have family overseas WhatsApp is a great way to text, call, create video messages or voice messages.
Back to Prayer: Creating and supporting each other through spiritual practice at home is as important now as it has ever been. Especially when we cannot meet together at our wonderful Center. Having a daily prayer together or a gratitude practice is another way to deepen your connection as a family. Start each day by sharing 3 things you are grateful for and end the day before you go to sleep the same way. Yoga, meditation and breathing practices work too. What ever fits for your family, do it and do it often!
I would love to hear some of the creative ways you are creating connection and getting through this time of "Sheltering in Grace". Please feel free to comment below or reach out to me personally (susan.robinson@cslsr.org). I look forward to the day we can all be back together again.
My fur boys, Scooter and Buddha, (pictured below) and I, are sending you lots of warmth, snuggles, virtual hugs and prayers of love and light.
